Marisa Renee Lee, an acclaimed grief advocate, speaker, and best-selling author, recently sat down with Liz Tenety on The Motherly Podcast to share her profound journey through loss, chronic illness, and the transformative experience of motherhood via adoption. Lee’s narrative is a powerful testament to resilience, offering profound insights into navigating uncertainty and cultivating hope even in the face of immense adversity.

A Life Marked by Profound Loss and Resilience

Lee’s personal narrative is interwoven with significant loss, shaping her unique perspective on grief and healing. The passing of her mother in 2008 after a courageous battle with breast cancer marked an early turning point. This profound grief was compounded by further tragic losses between 2020 and 2023, including the deaths of a cousin to COVID-19 and another to domestic violence. These experiences, while devastating, forged in Lee a deep understanding of the human capacity to endure and find meaning.

In more recent years, Lee herself faced a formidable health challenge: long COVID. Diagnosed in 2024, she became one of the over 20 million Americans grappling with the persistent and often debilitating symptoms of the post-viral condition. This struggle was further complicated by personal battles with infertility and pregnancy loss, experiences that many women face with profound emotional and physical toll.

Despite these immense challenges, Lee refused to be defined by sorrow. Instead, she channeled her experiences into her writing, producing two seminal books: "Grief Is Love: Living With Loss" and "Waiting for Dawn: Living With Uncertainty." These works have resonated deeply with readers, offering solace, guidance, and a renewed sense of possibility for those navigating similar paths. Her ability to transform personal pain into a source of strength and wisdom has established her as a trusted voice in the fields of grief, uncertainty, and healing.

The Journey to Motherhood Through Adoption

Lee’s path to motherhood was also marked by the complexities of infertility and pregnancy loss. After enduring these deeply personal struggles, she and her husband, Matt, embraced adoption. Their son, Bennett, joined their family in 2022, a journey Lee describes as intrinsically hopeful.

"I absolutely viewed the act of becoming a parent a hopeful one," Lee shared on the podcast. "My husband and I are two people who are not really accustomed to a lot of failure. So we had to believe that it was going to work out even in the moments when we didn’t have answers, we didn’t have a plan, we didn’t have a timeline – but we just never stopped believing that we were meant to be somebody’s mom and dad."

This unwavering belief underscores the powerful role of hope in the adoption process. For prospective adoptive parents, hope serves as a crucial anchor, providing the resilience needed to navigate the often lengthy and emotionally charged journey. Lee’s experience highlights how hope is not merely an emotion but an active force that can propel individuals through uncertainty toward their desired future.

Finding Identity and Joy in Motherhood

The moment Lee first felt the profound connection of motherhood was remarkably early. "It is so funny," she recounted. "I felt like this is my kid, and I am his mom. Before we even met him, we got the call the day after he was born. No paperwork had been signed yet. But once we got that call, I knew in my gut that this was going to happen, that this was our kid." This intuitive certainty speaks to the deep, often inexplicable bonds that form in the journey to parenthood.

Motherhood, Lee observes, has also been a profound learning experience. She notes the surprising lessons she has gleaned from her four-and-a-half-year-old son. "You don’t really hear people talking a lot about the things that they’re learning from toddlers; you hear more about the things that we’re trying to teach them. But I actually feel like I’ve learned a lot from my four-and-a-half-year-old – like that it’s okay to have lots of big feelings and to have them shift pretty quickly and unexpectedly." This observation underscores the reciprocal nature of parenting, where children often teach adults valuable lessons about emotional regulation and adaptability.

"Waiting for Dawn": Navigating Uncertainty

Lee’s latest book, "Waiting for Dawn: Living With Uncertainty," was born from a direct experience with illness. In April 2024, she found herself battling COVID-19, experiencing profound fatigue and exhaustion. Her editor’s suggestion to write about her experience of being sick became the catalyst for the book.

"In a couple days I had 10,000 words and I realized, okay, we have a different book here," Lee explained. "And what it’s actually about isn’t illness; it’s about surviving periods of uncertainty." This realization highlights the broader applicability of her work, extending beyond specific health crises to encompass the universal human experience of navigating the unknown.

The illness provided a unique perspective on her role as a mother. "The biggest thing for me was learning to accept where we are at different times in our lives and choosing to believe that whatever we can give our kids in those moments, even if it doesn’t always feel like enough, that it is enough," she stated. This acceptance of limitations, coupled with a commitment to showing up for her son, Bennett, reflects a mature understanding of parental capacity and self-compassion.

The Gifts of Surrender and Compassion

Lee’s experience with long COVID also brought a profound realization about the necessity of surrender and the power of collective support. "I realized that there were times when I was putting out more effort than was necessary," she admitted. "And [with COVID], there just isn’t energy for that. And in that act of surrender, you realize that there are a lot of people out there who are trying and wanting to help you. You don’t actually have to do everything in order for the things that you are meant to do to get done." This acknowledgment of interdependence is a vital lesson for many, particularly for mothers who often feel the pressure to manage all aspects of family life independently.

This understanding of our shared vulnerability naturally extends to a call for greater compassion. "For me, so much of it comes down to compassion," Lee emphasized. "If you have the ability to extend compassion to yourself, it makes it so much easier to extend it to others out in the world, whether it’s your family members, your friends, or complete strangers. And I also think when any of us goes through a life challenge, it just increases your awareness of what other people might be going through." This perspective underscores the interconnectedness of individual well-being and our capacity for empathy towards others.

Reframing Grief as Love

Lee’s debut book, "Grief Is Love: Living With Loss," offers a powerful reframing of grief not as an ending, but as a testament to love. She believes this perspective has resonated so deeply because it challenges societal norms that often pressure individuals to "get over it and move on."

"I think people were tired of being told to get over it and move on," Lee explained. "When you lose someone you love or you lose a life that you lovingly built, whether you’re dealing with the grief of a divorce or a sudden illness or something else, unexpected and painful, there isn’t a ‘getting over it’; there’s a ‘learning how to live with it.’" This approach acknowledges the enduring nature of love and the process of integrating loss into one’s life rather than eradicating it. The statistics on grief are stark; according to the National Center for Health Statistics, millions of Americans experience the death of a loved one each year, making Lee’s insights on navigating this universal human experience particularly relevant.

Motherhood as a Source of Superpowers

At Motherly, the belief is that motherhood unlocks unique strengths. For Marisa Renee Lee, this superpower is humility. "You realize very quickly you can do all the things in the world, but you still don’t really control the outcome," she stated. "You hope that your love and guidance and support are enough. But leaning into that unknown is a really humbling experience." This recognition of the inherent unpredictability of life, particularly in parenting, fosters a deeper sense of self-awareness and acceptance.

Broader Implications and Future Outlook

Marisa Renee Lee’s journey and her work offer valuable insights for a wide audience. Her candid discussion of chronic illness, infertility, and grief provides a crucial voice for those experiencing similar challenges, often in silence. Her advocacy for hope and resilience in the face of adversity is a powerful message for anyone navigating difficult life transitions.

Furthermore, her perspective on adoption as a hopeful path to parenthood challenges traditional narratives and celebrates the diverse ways families are formed. Her books and podcast appearances serve as a vital resource, offering not just personal anecdotes but also a framework for understanding and processing complex emotional landscapes.

The overarching theme of Lee’s message is the profound human capacity for growth, adaptation, and love, even in the darkest of times. By embracing vulnerability, seeking connection, and cultivating a deep well of compassion for oneself and others, individuals can indeed turn life’s most challenging seasons into sources of profound strength and enduring hope. Her work reminds us that healing is not about erasing loss, but about learning to live with it, transforming it, and ultimately, finding joy amidst the journey.